Soul Eater Joke Compilation
by spawnspectre
Summary: Just a list of all the jokes I could adapt to have SE characters
1. Chapter 1

Soul Eater Joke Compilation

**I created this because I thought how funny would it be to add SE characters to already existing jokes.**

**WARNING!: Some jokes might be just plain wrong for the characters.**

Joke 1:

One day, Soul proposed himself to Maka.

Before accepting, Maka wanted to confess something to him:

-Due to a small childhood problem, my chest is the size of a ten year old girl.

-Don't worry. What I feel for you is so big that it's not a problem.

Since they were in the confession topic, Soul wanted to confess another thing:

-Maka, I have a confession to make. My manhood is the same size as a newborn.

-That won't be a problem. I love you so much that I won't let that be a problem.

They got married.

When they were in their honeymoon, they started caressing each other.

When she slid her hand down his pants, she gave a deafening scream and ran out the door, almost dying of panic...

When Soul could catch up, he asked what scared her so much.

She answered:

-You lied to me! You said your penis was the size of a newborn!

-It's true! It weighs 3 kilos and it's 48 centimeters long...

**ROFL**

**Maka wasn't expecting that!**


	2. Chapter 2

Kid and Patty were chilling in the park bench, enjoying the sun. Seconds later they see Black Star sprinting past them.

"Ooohh… He's going so fast!" Patty said giggling.

"He's trying to catch Tsubaki in bed with another guy…" Kid replied.

A minute after they see Soul speeding his bike past them.

"He's going even faster than Black Star!" Patty said.

"Again, he's trying to catch Maka in bed with another guy…" Kid said with a sigh.

Minutes later…

"Oh shit…" Kid said. "Patty I gotta run home!"

"Why?" Patty said confused.

"I caught your nee-chan three times!"


	3. Chapter 3

Inside a train are Soul, Black Star, Tsubaki and Maka

The train goes through a tunnel

A slap is heard

when the train exits the tunnel

Everyone sees Black Star holding one of his cheeks in pain

Maka thinks: Black Star groped Tsubaki, she didn't like it, she slapped him.

Tsubaki thinks: Black Star tried to grope me, missed and groped Maka. She didn't like it and she slapped him

Black Star thinks: Soul groped Maka, she thought I did it and she slapped me.

Soul thinks: Can't wait for the next tunnel to slap Black Star again!


	4. Chapter 4

Soul was called to the Death Room. As he arrived, he noticed that Shinigami-sama, Spirit and Blair were present.

"Shinigami-sama! I want Soul Evans to be expelled from the DWMA!" Spirit said.

"On what charges?" the Death God asked.

"I suspect he's abusing of my darling Maka!"

Blair would normally be on Spirit's side in whatever he talks about, but she felt that she should help Soul get out of this mess. She pulled down Soul's pants and underwear and grabbed his flaccid member with her hand.

"Listen Spirit… How could Soul-kun abuse Maka-chan with this?" Blair said slightly shaking the hand that was grabbing the now slightly erect member. "I mean, he's only fourteen! *shaking more vigorously* Seriously! Only fourteen!"

Soul mutters to Blair: "Stop that or else I'm gonna be in a shit load of trouble…"


	5. Chapter 5

Maka and Tsubaki met in the café to drink and chat about the day.

"You won't believe what happened yesterday…" Maka said, trying to gain Tsubaki's interest in her subject.

"What happened?" Tsubaki asked curious.

"When I got home I saw Soul "playing" with himself while watching some hentai flick in the living room! And he was about to come!"

"My God! What did you do?" Tsubaki asked in shock.

"I gave him a blowjob… It's easier to brush my teeth than to clean the carpets…"


	6. Chapter 6

Maka went out shopping while Soul was watching TV. Blair was in the bathroom getting ready to go to work, even though she only had to go there in the next two hours.

Suddenly, the bell rang and Soul went to the door to open it. Soul recognized the man and shouted to Blair.

"Blair! The milkman is here! Do ya wanna pay or should I go out for an hour?"


	7. Chapter 7

Maka seated herself in doctor Stein's office. "What seems to be the problem?" Stein asked.

"Well… I… uh…" she stammered. "I think I… uh… might be a nymphomaniac..."

"I see…" he said. "I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour."

"That's okay…" she replied. "How much for all night?"

**O_O**


	8. Chapter 8

Blair, the pert and pretty cat-girl hostess took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist. "Doctor, you must help me," she pleaded. "It's gotten so that every time I date one of my clients, I end up dating him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a week."

"I see," nodded Stein. "And you, no doubt, want me to strengthen your will power and resolve in this matter."

"NO!" Blair exclaimed. "I want you to fix it so I won't feel guilty and depressed afterward!"


	9. Chapter 9

The students were attending their first class on emotional extremes. "Just to establish some parameters…" said Stein to the Soul, "What is the opposite of joy?"

"Sadness." Soul said.

And the opposite of depression?" he asked Tsubaki.

"Elation." she said.

"And you miss…" he said to Patty, who went recently on a trip to Texas, "how about the opposite of woe?"

She replied, "Sensei… I believe that would be giddy-up!"


End file.
